How to Date your Spouse

So many couples that I meet with talk about the difficulties of spending time together. Between kids, work, and everything else life can feel busy and overwhelming. But even the midst of our busy lives, dating your spouse is possible. With intentional effort from both, you can rebuild the intimacy between you.

Spending time with or going on dates with your spouse doesn’t have to be as complicated as what many think it is. It may require more effort at first, but with consistency it will become a natural habit. While some couples may think that these things should come naturally, the reality is that for most it is effort. Intentional planning and effort can be very meaningful though; it communicates that you care about your partner and the overall success of your marriage. As a bonus, it also provides a good example of what a healthy marriage is for your children and doesn’t set them up with the idea that marriage is without work. Here are some ideas on how to get started.

1)     DO things together. Plan a monthly date, just the two of you, no kids. Even for just two hours. Take turns engaging in activities that the other is interested in. If you can sit down and plan several out over the next few months, that’s even better. Even if you don’t know what to do, just identifying the date and blocking off the time can be enough until you get closer to it.

2)     Be affectionate with one another.  Hold hands, kiss each other goodbye in the morning, kiss each other hello in the evenings, and hug each other after a stressful day.

3)     Give compliments. Your spouse wants to hear that you think they look good in that shirt or that they did something well! Point out positive things about them; let them know you appreciate specific things they do for you and your family.

4)     Ask questions. A lot of times we assume that we know what’s going on in our spouse’s world. Ask them how they are doing, how is work, how are they feeling about the marriage/relationship, how are their relationships with the friends/family members going, etc.

5)     Attend a couple’s workshop. Even if your relationship is going great, it can be a wonderful opportunity to discuss and fine tune elements of your relationship that you may normally not be able to discuss

These are just a few of the many ideas out there. Remember, key is that it takes intentional effort. By fostering and nurturing your marriage, you both will reap the benefits from it.