Why every couple should have a Money Date

What comes to your mind when you hear the phrase “Money Date?” I bet visions of you and your partner sitting down together with a glass of wine, your laptops, and writing pads to discuss your current financial and emotional situation come to mind, yeah? Maybe I’m the only one. 

Well that’s exactly what we envision when we talk about having a Money Date. Okay, maybe you can swap out the wine for your beverage of choice, but you get the idea. Before we get more into the ‘why’ part of having a Money Date, let’s chat about what a Money Date is. 

Quite simply, a money date is a scheduled date and time for you and your partner to sit down and talk about your current financial situation. To expand on it even more, a Money Date addresses what progress has been made towards financial goals, identifying adjustments to your spending plan if needed, and thinking through what future items are on the horizon that need to be attended to. Oh, and the most important part that ABSOLUTELY needs to be discussed is how each of you are feeling about your financial situation. Are there some small or big wins that should be celebrated? Is there anxiety around events coming up next? Is there disappointment that you weren’t able to save at your desired rate or accomplish certain goals? Money dates are about more than just discussing the numbers. They’re about connecting with your partner in a vulnerable way. A way that builds emotional security, trust, and intimacy. 

So now that you have a framework for what a Money Date is, let’s talk about why you should be having them. Money Dates are opportunities; opportunities to connect, build trust, and learn. Couples who talk about money together, feel more invested in the relationship and have greater feelings of trust for their partner. Even when one partner is more of the financial manager, sitting down to discuss and make decisions together allows for both partners to be involved and feel valued. Something that will only help in the overall marital satisfaction category. And who doesn’t want that?

So by now, if you’ve read this far, you might be thinking, “ok so how often should we be doing this?” to which I will respond “great question!” If Money Dates or just talking about money and financial matters is NOT something that you and your partner are currently doing, I would suggest starting out at 1x per month. Maybe make it the 1st Friday of every month or whatever works best for your schedule. If talking about money is something that you feel you and your partner are well versed in, perhaps a quarterly Money Date would be sufficient. Whatever the frequency is, just make sure you’re consistent! 

Want more information on how to set up your Money Date? Check out my free Money Date Agenda to help you get started! It’s full of great tips and even an outline for how to structure your Money Date conversation.