Uncovering your money beliefs (part 1)
Uncovering your money beliefs does not have to be a deeply emotional or complicated process. It does however, require you to take intentional time looking back in the rearview mirror. You might be thinking why is that? Well our beliefs around money didn’t just start when we became an adult and left home. Our early childhood and adolescent experiences around money have impacted and shaped our current beliefs and attitudes; the good, the bad, and the…anxious? Part 1 of this blog series will help you practically uncover your money beliefs, while part 2 will look at what to do once you’ve uncovered them.
Understanding our beliefs and attitudes with money will give context and clarity as to why we do money the way that we do. While this is important for any individual to know about themselves, it is especially important for both partners in a relationship to know about each other. When both partners know what’s behind the behavior of the other partner it creates compassion for each other allowing partners to work together towards their goals.
So now that we are all on the same page, let’s dive in to helping you uncover your beliefs around money. Find some quiet, uninterrupted time in your day, about 15-20 minutes. Set a timer for yourself if helpful. Grab a piece of paper and pen or open a blank document on your computer device. For the first half of your time, I want you to think back to your childhood and adolescence. While you are taking that time machine back to this period, I want you to think about and answer this question: “What are your earliest memories around money?”
If you can think of 3-4 early memories about money, jot a quick sentence or note on your paper. Maybe your earliest memory is your grandparents giving you a dollar when you came to visit. Or maybe it’s mom and dad feeling stressed and fighting about money. Perhaps it’s donating or tithing to a church on Sundays. They can be positive memories or less than positive ones. Don’t judge the memory, just note it for now.
Once you have a few written down, take the next 5-10 minutes of your quiet time to think about this question: “What belief or lesson did you learn from this memory?” If your parents fought about money frequently or were stressed by not being able to pay bills, maybe what you learned is that “money is bad,” or “money is stressful.” If your grandparents were generous with their money then maybe you learned “it’s good to give your money away.” Whatever the lesson or belief is that you learned, again, do not judge it, just note it.
With fresh eyes, come back to this list later in the day or the next day. Really read it over and jot down any additional notes you want to make about beliefs or lessons you may have learned. If it’s helpful, re-write out your money beliefs in quotes as I’ve done above. Why quotes? Because these are things your brain may be saying to you and now you get to decide if you want to change the belief. If you feel that your money beliefs are still a little fuzzy, feel free to repeat this exercise as many times as you’d like. If you’re having trouble remembering facts about your childhood, ask a sibling or parent what they remember from that time period about money.
Join me next week for Part 2 of this blog series as we look at what to do now that you have uncovered your money beliefs. In the meantime, feel free to reach out on IG to share with me what you uncovered. I’ll be sharing my money beliefs this week as well!
